Learn To Spot Your False Soulmate – Red Flags In Relationship
Dating has always been a minefield fraught with potential disaster. However the game seems to be getting worse and the stakes for losing are higher than ever.
In this day and age, there are a lot of people who have a sense of self-entitlement. They believe that they deserve the best, and should have the best, whether they actually work for it or not.
There are people who rely on charm and good looks to manipulate the average person.
The average person goes into a potential new relationship with heart open and mind open, hoping for the best. The average person forgives and forgets and understands that people make mistakes. The average person also has an average tolerance level for putting up with other people’s garbage and are often pretty good at saying “no” to outlandish behaviour.
A magnet for a psychopath, narcissist, sociopath and cheater is even better than the average person at tolerance, patience, and optimism.
The target is a very forgiving, helpful and rather naive person. The target may be a single parent, a hopeless romantic, someone with a big heart who likely volunteers and gives to charities.
The target understands that people have bad childhoods and horrible previous relationships. They understand that a person can lose his or her temper enough to actually have criminal record. But instead of staying away from loose canons, they want to help them, they want to fix them.
The target has to learn that not everyone can be “fixed.” Not everyone wants to be fixed.
The target has to learn that psychopaths, con artists, sociopaths and narcissists have no feelings. It’s hard to imagine but these people will come into your life, stir it up into chaos, help themselves to your possessions, your bank account, your friends, your family, and then leave you with as little as possible.
There is no guilt. No remorse. No love lost.
It is very hard to understand if you are a normal human being that 4% of the population doesn’t care about you, doesn’t love, doesn’t feel guilty. They are relentless at getting what they want and it will cost you.
It may cost your heart, your mind, your bank account, your home, your business, your family, your friends, your social haunts, your lifestyle.
You may have had everything you ever needed in the world before you met “your perfect soul mate.” And once you’ve endured the nightmare, you may well be left penniless, heart broken, confused, depressed, and with a hefty case of post-traumatic stress disorder.
So you need to get smart to the signs of these human hunters.
Learn to spot the red flags. Learn how to take care of yourself FIRST. Learn that you are not responsible for “helping” a grown man or woman to “get over” his or her baggage.
Learn to pick healthy people with healthy attitudes.
You can not help anyone but yourself.
Understand that some people do not love, can not love, do not care about love, trust, honesty, commitment, values, morals, or anything else a solid relationship is built on.
All they want is what you have along with the fact they are jealous you have the capacity to love while they do not. So they will lure you in with charisma, fabulous sex, generosity and kindness. And just like in a horror movie, once they have you in their web, they will mentally and physically torture you until you can finally unsnare yourself and leave. Often losing everything in the process.
There are many e-books written by brave men and women who have lived through nightmares with these types of people.
You can find them by using keywords such as red flags, con artists, narcissistic personality disorder, toxic relationships and so on.
Red flags differ but often include:
- angry outbursts in response to simple questions
- cell phones that mysteriously don’t work
- tears of denial when asked if there’s someone else
- mysterious people of the opposite sex on social networks and angry outbursts when you ask who they are and why you’ve never met them
- refusal to show bank records, credit card statements, phone records
- sleeping on the couch
- sudden change in life style habits
- too much interest in your house title, bank account, child support payments
- demands you get rid of your pets when they move in
- blames everyone else for choice he or she has made in life
- blames everyone else for why he or she has a criminal record
- blames everyone else for previous broken relationships
- has multiple children with multiple partners, mostly out-of- wedlock
- wants to move in within weeks or days of knowing you
- proposes within the first few months of knowing you
- gives you a “used” engagement ring to “save money”
- tries to change your hair, your clothes, your eating habits, your job within weeks of knowing you
These are only a few red flags.
Sometimes there are simple explanations. But the reality is, if something seems fishy, it probably is.
Trust your gut.
Ask questions. A normal person doesn’t get mad if you’re asking simple questions to improve communication in a relationship.
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